Super Perv!

$20

John needs $20 till tomorrow. Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?

John Rosenberg

is in New York.

And though I'm sure the Big Apple finds his companionship amiable, he is sorely missed here.

:(

This is my desktop background, and I think it should be yours too.

jesus christ

he likes iced tea!!

a Sunday, but not the most recent.

john's a bastard. he lives in my neigborhood and has an open invitation to dinner but never takes me up on it

Johnny John John

will give a training today on how to stay in one's dead end job for ten years.

Not that he's quite made it that far, but we're all rooting for him!

today

John Rosenberg ate some cereal.

He will go out to lunch with his personal trainer. He will not be allowed to consume any white flour or sugar.

Someone said, "John is obviously lying."

His girlfriend asked him what they will do for dinner.

What will they do for dinner? And where will he eat lunch?!

re: JR

he thinks he's cupidi think he's stupid

ZING!

"john rosenberg just doesn't understand that women need to maintain a certain level of mystery."

awhile ago

we were at a restaurant in downtown Berkeley, and I ate some of JR's pickle. I admit. Guilty as charged.

He got mad and had me spit it out in his hand. Which I did, obligingly. I can respect that that was his pickle. Totes, yo.

Some moments passed. I don't remember what happened.

He told me that I could have some pickle if I asked for it. You know, without being rude, and without being deserving.

So I asked for some pickle. I've been eating pickles almost daily, and they're totally satisfying.

He gave me back my chewed up pickle and I ate it.

Was that boring?
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Come on Johnny, let's go party

had "come on Barbie, let's go party" in his head all day yesterday.

Let's go for 2 out of 2.

my nose itches

why?

because right now John Rosenberg is thinking of me!

according to an unnamed source

John Rosenberg attended a party of some sort while in LA this weekend.

today

he will fly to LA.

He may have already.

first impressions

"that shock of white hair is always a bit shocking. i'm not sure whether it's attractive or a sign of evil like cruella de ville."

theatre or theater?

John doesn't really know.

I mean, he knows.

But still sometimes he forgets.

he was always a bit of a rogue that jr

an iconoclast

today

John Rosenberg went and got his stressed boss lunch down the street.

He had a mediocre piece of buttermilk fried chicken for lunch, with a ceaser's side salad. He made one joke that made him laugh for minutes. His face turned red, he was so proud of himself.

You woulda been proud of him too. It was a pretty good joke. But it pissed me off. He's good at that.

the only times John ever gets a car

is if one of his family members lends him one.

John's sister lent him her truck while she was living somewhere else one time. He operated a somewhat profitable moving business while he had it.

He had his dad's convertible for a while. It was red, if my memory serves. We all went to the beach one day and he let me drive it around the Safeway parking lot.

John saw his old freshman year roommate in the city on Friday afternoon. On Sunday he watched the Laker's Game, drank some beer.

Tomorrow he will do his laundry. And it will probably rain again.

somebody

had a hangover yesterday.

No word on today yet.

shocking!

who knew?!!

John Rosenberg walks three miles a day.

Up and down the streets of San Francisco.

Will you see him there? Will I?!! oooh, the suspense!

start the presses!

JR is eating a pear.

at this point

John just can't remove late fees.

So don't even ask.

i love John Rosenberg

the word on the street is

that last night John Rosenberg did thirty push ups. As his personal trainer, I say, "GOOD JOB JOHN ROSENBERG!"

hee haw!

welcome to the John Rosenberg Daily Report!! Here we track all of the most important John Rosenberg happenings. We keep a close eye on JR, so check back here often!!